For you
by Happymood
Summary: I'm doing this just for you... for you, the girl I loved since childhood..." A tribute to Severus Snape. Canon. One-shot. Please R&R!


**Disclaimer: I do not own the magical world of Harry Potter. **

**Author's note: This is for my friend Karen, who lives on the other side of the world, for trusting Severus Snape from the very beginning. **

**Thank you, wingnutdawn, for helping me! **

**Hope you'll all enjoy this!**

**REMEMBER: **

**#blah#: Snape's thoughts**

_**Blah**_** is for the****past. **

**Happymood **

Severus Snape was angry and disappointed with himself as he stood waiting silently for the right moment to speak. He kept his eyes fixed upon Nagini who was swirling and coiling herself around as if she was swimming, safe in her enchanted starry sphere. Thoughts whirled about in his head, memories and regrets battled for dominance. He felt that his impending doom was near at hand. He hadn't found Harry- not for this egomaniac that was questioning why Dumbledores wand, the Elder wand would not work for him... but for _her_. For Lilly.

Only for Lilly.

Sixteen years ago had died in a loving and desperate attempt to protect her young son from Voldemort, and with her death Harry received the protection that caused the evil Dark wizard to die...or at least vanquished him for a time.

_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ..._

The first part of the prophecy… If only he hadn't heard it and repeated it to the Dark Lord…

#What if…#

Dumbledore had told him that the boy must die by Voldemort's hand which would also mean the true end of Voldemort.

_"In the case of Harry and Lord Voldemort, to speak of one is to speak of the other"_ that is what Dumbledore told him.

--# Lilly's son! #

He felt his failure deeply. He couldn't help but wonder what his life would have been like if he had listened to Lilly and turned his back on the Dark Arts which he had been fascinated with since his mother taught him all those hexes. It was well known that when he entered Hogwarts he did already have an extensive knowledge of hexes that even seventh years hadn't learned.

#How stupid of me to think she would have been impressed. Lilly, I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? Because I cannot forgive myself….#

He knew it was too late to even think about it because she was dead and he blamed himself for that.

What if he hadn't eavesdropped that prophecy? What if he hadn't told? Would she be still be alive?

#I am doing this for you.#

"... my Lord the resistance is crumbling." Snape finally spoke. He realized, that this was the beginning of the end. The war would end in favour of either the Dark Lord or the Light side. Would Lilly have approved of his decision to go along with Dumbledores plan to die by his hand instead of young Draco Malfoy? The boy had been given the task by the Dark Lord to punish Lucius for his failures. A slow agonizing torture as they witnessed Draco fail and the consequences of his failure.

_"Certainly not. You must kill me." Dumledore told him. __After a long pause Snape replied: _

_"Would you like to do it now?" he asked with a trace of sarcasm "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"  
_  
He had wondered at the time why Dumbledore hadn't been willing to allow Draco to kill him since he had said he didn't mind dying.

_"That boy's soul is not yet so damaged." said Dumbledore. "I would not have it ripped apart on my account."_

_"And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?" he asked even though he knew the answer. His soul was already ruined._

Would Lilly know he killed Dumbledore to save another boy's soul if not his life? Another attempt for redemption and to prove his remorse over her death?

#Everything I done was for you... Lilly#

_"__And will it really come by owl?" the red-headed girl whispered in amazement. _

_Severus looked at her big, innocent green eyes and answered:_

_"__Normally, but you're Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents." _

"Does it make a difference, being a Muggle-born?" she asked, a little worried.

Severus studied her pale features and his heart beat heavily inside his chest. He didn't want her to be worried. He didn't want her to be hurt. Never.

"No!" he told her.  
  
#NO. He hadn't wanted things to turn out the way they did!# 

Severus heard something in Voldemort's remorseless voice that chilled his blood.

"- And it is doing so without your help skilled wizard though you are, Severus, I do not think you will make much a difference now…" the Dark Lord interrupted him abruptly. Snape watched him playing absentmindedly with the Elder Wand.

Severus had to plead, he needed to - For Lilly.

"Let me find the boy. Let me bring you Potter. I know I can find him, my Lord…" he pleaded. "Please…"

#Lilly for you I am trying to keep your boy safe. I have always loved you…#

_Severus stared blankly at the book on his knees but he couldn't read a single word. Lilly hummed something cheerful while copying down her Charm's essay, she looked up at him, her beautiful green eyes sparkling with joy, and smiled kindly at him._

_Severus felt his pale cheeks burn and his heart quicken. _

"_Er__r… Lilly? I need to tell you something really important." _

_It was now or never, he repeated to himself. It was now or never, before that pathetic, stupid, arrogant Potter come and stole her away from him. _

_"__What is it, Severus?" she asked softly and the pale lanky Slytherin boy felt strangely awkward and shy as he started to stutter. _

_"I...I...Wa...Wanted to..."_

_"Oi! Evans!" a loud voice suddenly interrupted them and Severus turned his head abruptly, glaring with hatred at the approaching raven-haired boy._

_"__Oh, it's Potter again." Lilly whispered. "Go away before he sees you. You can tell me later, okay?" she continued seeing his frustrated look.  
_  
#This is for all the times I tried to tell you but couldn't…#

_"What did you wish to tell me before Potter interrupted us?" Lilly asked as she held her books securely against her chest. Severus stared into her remarkable green eyes that shifted ever so slightly away from him. Following her gaze, he gasped as he noticed who she had looked at, and he knew her heart was already stolen. She had glanced towards a certain raven-haired boy with glasses. _

_"Nothing." he said then, "It was nothing…"  
_  
#I'm doing this for you, because I didn't had the courage to tell you that day I loved you, but by then I had chosen my path…#

#I'm sorry for everything I done to you, Lilly…#

_Eleven year old Severus Snape entered the Slytherin common room apprehensively, searching for a spot to sit and study.  
_

#If only Lilly had became a Slytherin too, but she didn't…#

_A tall thin sixth year blond boy with cold grey eyes approached him with an outstretched hand of friendship._

_"Your name is Severus Snape!" He said with obvious self assurance and authority. _

_Severus slowly nodded._

_"Er.. pardon me but who are you?"  
_

"_Lucius Malfoy..."  
_  
#If only I hadn't accepted that extended hand…I'm sorry for everything I done to you, Lilly…#

"_I'm sorry I didn't mean it!" s__aid Severus but the red-headed girl looked at him, her arms folded, her cold green eyes staring deeply into his black ones. "You know I didn't mean it!" _

_"You have told me that story too many times." I don't know if I can trust you again..." _

She had left him standing there because he had used an unforgivable word: 'Mudblood. ' It had slipped out when she came to his defence. She had berated James Potter for hoisting him in the air and taunting him. He had shouted at her in his humiliation and fury- 'Mudblood!'

#If only... too late now to ask again for your forgiveness. But I'm doing this for you, for all the times I tried to tell you…#

Voldemort turned around and looked at Snape straight in the face. His red eyes glowed in the darkness.

"The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master." the Dark Lord said.

He spoke coldly: "You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine. I regret this for you have served me faithfully."

#This is for you, Lilly. For the girl I loved since childhood…#

To Snape's horror, Voldemort's intention became crystal clear as Nagini's cage rolled through the air and encased his head and shoulders. At her master's order Nagini attacked. Severus Snape screamed with agony as the snake's fangs pierced his neck and her deadly poison pulsed through his bloodstream.

He trembled in agony waiting for death to take him . He felt he had failed her at the end. Wait a moment there was someone... Yes it's Potter who was bending over him. A last chance for him to make amends. And help the boy save the Wizarding world from the Dark Lord. He grabbed the front of the boy's robes and pulled him close as he forced all his memories of Lilly and others that showed his true allegiance to come to the surface. He hoped against hope that the boy was not such a dunderhead that he would realize what he had to do.

#I'm doing this just for you Lilly. Please, oh please forgive me for my mistakes…#

A terrible rasping, gugling noise issued from Snape's throat.

"Take... it... take... it...!"

A flask was conjured up by Granger and thrust into Potters hand. Snape felt weaker but also elated as he witnessed Harry lifting the silvery blue substances with his wand and filling the flask to it's brim.

"Look... at... me..." Snape whispered painfully as he searched Harry Potter's face.

#So I can see your beautiful green eyes once again. Those eyes I loved so much but couldn't tell you…#

His black eyes met Potter's green eyes. Her eyes…

Snape stared intently, but after a second his soul left his body and his eyes remained fixed, blank and empty. His hand which was gripping the boy's robes slackened and thudded to the floor.

His task was done.

He stared for a moment at the boy who remained kneeling at the side of his cooling dead body then turned to follow a voice that called his name.

#Is that you Lilly?... Am I forgiven?... Lily?... please...?#


End file.
